Before applying for Gordan Moody, I was in a terrible way. Family relations were problematic and personal relationships were built on the dependence of charity.
I struggled to afford monthly rent and general household necessities. To forget about all these external issues, I continued to escape to my comfortable place. This was gambling.
Most of my childhood was hectic. Many years of physical and mental abuse by my sibling, followed by his horrific death, constituted to my denial of meaning, progressive internalised anger and obsessive self-pity.
During my time at Gordan Moody, I felt an energy of optimism and an unconditional acceptance from both staff and fellow housemates. The level of remorse and guilt I had held within for many years, was slowly being drained by my acceptance and realisation for self-forgiveness.
In therapy sessions I could talk about emotions and come to terms with my past. Quite brilliantly, the therapist would refrain from judging or blaming each of my wrong doings, but concentrate on their positive parts and listen openly without any sense of authority.
Gaining trust
This allowed me to gain the trust needed to share my deepest fears and regrets. The fellow housemates were also very supportive. Each person had their own stories of regret, anger and dishonesty. We would talk together about our own experiences and provide advice for our recovery.
Ultimately, there was an overwhelming energy of optimism, openness and motivation to change.
The most important part of my recovery was acceptance. I had to admit to myself that I was compulsively gambling to escape from the traumas of my past.
By coming to terms with my past, I was able to justify my actions and therefore reduce the remorse I felt. I had to change some personality traits, such as blaming myself consistently.
After realising I was prone to self-blame, I became incredibly aware of the thought patterns that directed me. Without all the help from the staff and fellow housemates, I would more than likely still be trapped with unjustified guilt. Thus, leading me to continuously escape by gambling. Thank you for allowing me to realise my own mind, morals and emotions, with absolute acceptance and unconditional positive regard.
Gordon Moody helped me find a local flat with the council, because I had no other home. The support, care and consideration I received was more than amazing.
I decided to apply for university to study psychology, because throughout this experience I found my true passion and interest in life. This was to help and support others in whatever way I could.
This philosophy has a profound meaning to me, and I aspire to maintain these principles throughout my life.
I have now just started my second year at university, and I have a job as a support worker for people with learning difficulties and challenging behaviours. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for Gordon Moody.