If I’m honest I miss it too. I think most of us do at least a little. But it will become less and less. I barely miss it except when I’m asked to really think about it, like your post made me. We just can’t gamble sensibly without causing ourselves harm. Like an alcoholic with a drink or a severe diabetic with sweets. The best is to just stay away. The hardest part can be getting that traction, that turning point, that epiphany. Very happy for you Johnny B. You may not have written a traditional poem but it speaks right to the heart of it for you. And isn’t that what a poem does? Makes us feel? Take care Johnny!