Forums › Poetry Corner › A GAMBLING BIRD – THAT WAS STUCK IN A HORRIBLE CAGE
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8 December 2011 at 4:56 pm #9879
For a while I felt that I was like – a captured bird
Which to others – this may sound totally absurd
I felt that I was captured – in a horrible cage
Stuck in a permanent gambling – addictive stage
A stage of my life – where I continued to bet
Having the addiction – caused me so much regret
Cos of the addiction – I was unable to freely fly
Getting out of the cage – I often really did try
The cage that I was in – was so feking strong
The addiction cage had a terrible hold – and was wrong
On my own I didn’t have the ability – to get free
Of the addiction that was hurting others – and me
I felt that being in there – was driving me mad
I’ve felt so bothered, trapped – and very sad
The cage to me was like a terrible – outer shell
That was causing my life to be like – pure hell
I felt at times I couldn’t control – my inner rage
And I started to thump and batter away – at the cage
I realized then that I had damaged – both my wings
And I had to sit in there – and think about things
My wings felt like they had been – tied together
And I had to try and untie them – to get better
I felt that I wasn’t able to do this – on my own
And inside I felt very fearful – caged in and alone
But then I found GA and other gamblers – were there
Outside my cage I felt they understood – and did care
With their help my honest words – were truly spoken
And with knowledge / strength the cage – maybe broken
Gradually over time I started to use – my so-called beak
As I sat and talked to them – at meetings each week
I talked about my addiction – cos they were the same
I needed to find freedom, support – and less inner pain
With the flapping of wings – there was no pretending
My wings could never be cured – but they were mending
I knew that with help from others – I’d have the ability to fly
The thought of this made me fearful – and I wanted to cry
I was hoping that I would no longer – be a captivated bird
But being a bird without the cage – was something I feared
I felt very fearful of having no gambling – in my life
Cos it was an escape that helped me – to cope with strife
I heard people say – ‘you will never have perfect wings’
But try and fly out of the cage – and see what freedom brings
With a programe to follow I could be more – like a normal bird
Being a normal bird, living a normal life – seemed so feking wierd
I chipped away at the cage -and my gambling overcoat of shame
I felt that I could no longer be there – I accepted the blame
Eventually I gained the confidence – and hoped the cage would break
The gambling addiction I needed to control – before it was too late
I managed to learn to use the GA tools – that were given to me
And using them helped me – out of the cage and to be gamble free
Deep down I feel I am so grateful to other CG’s – and GA
For helping me to really feel like I can live – a gamble free way
I will always look back at the horrible cage – and time I spent there
And hope my gambling addiction – will never again cause me despair
Now I am gamble free and I follow the GA programme – ‘just for today’
And I gaining serenity and peace of mind – in a very special way
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