Forums Poetry Corner ‘GA’ and MY gambling journey

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        ‘GA’ and MY gambling journey
        I look back, but try not to dwell
        At my life of pure gambling hell
        I felt I had to give up and get well
        because inside I felt so unwell
        My head felt so emotionally sick
        and my body as heavy as a brick
        but I couldn’t stop and I felt thick
        inside the penny just didn’t click
        I often asked myself ‘why oh why?’
        to gambling I couldn’t say bye
        but gambling was my main al-lie
        it gave me such an incredible high
        High when placing that first bet
        when playing I could often forget
        I needed the adrenaline rush sweat
        and I forgot about gaining more debt
        I was fixated by the blasted machine
        the noises and the colour of the screen
        getting the features I really was keen
        winning was like the ‘cat who got the cream’
        But to be honest I hardly ever won
        I often wandered what I’d done
        to my head I needed to place a gun
        It was serious now and no longer fun
        What I was doing was totally insane
        because of it I got more strain
        gambling had become my life’s bane
        and I promised myself never again
        But within a day or the next week
        the gambling buss again I did seek
        after another loss my life was bleak
        I actually felt inside I was so weak
        In front of the machine again I’d stand
        for far more time than I had planned
        I actually needed to be banned
        my gambling had got out of hand
        The machine I could no longer meet
        by the machine I had been beat
        a ‘nemesis’ I could no longer compete
        I actually sat and admitted defeat
        I felt I had to swallow my pride
        by telling someone about my secret inside
        I went to GA and I talked and cried
        I really just wanted to run and hide
        But it was great sharing and getting it out
        I expected the others to just shout
        but they seemed to know what it was about
        after talking to them I felt less fear and doubt
        While I was talkingto them in a low tone
        I no longer felt that I was doing it alone
        I explained about all the money I had blown
        and how into a deceiful person I had grown
        Going to GA suddenly felt so fine
        and it sent a wierd tingle up my spine
        knowing the addiction was not just mine
        with GA, maybe for gambling I wouldnt pine
        I went to GA night after night
        It started to feel less of a fright
        There were others like me in my sight
        being there started to feel alright
        I knew GA’s help I needed to seek
        as I sat there and listened and began to speak
        I realiaed then that I wasn’t a freak
        and I no longer felt terrible and weak
        I was able to honestly declare
        as I sat in my GA chair
        I started to feel less panic and fear
        I found that I could honestly share
        I have continued to go to GA
        and said what I needed to say
        in order for my gambling to stay away
        it’s no longer MY way, but the GA way

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