Forums Poetry Corner I am dead.

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    • #9852

        This is my first attempt at writing poetry about cg addiction. I wrote this in my process of trying to stop. This for me was a reminder that If I didn’t stop cg it would kill me and I would lose more then just my life.  
        I am dead
        I killed myself
        Blood runs down my hands
        Anguish fills my heart
        I am dead
        I aimed the gun, fired and shot myself in the head
        These hands wouldn’t stop
        They couldn’t stop
        They kept going and going and going
        Until the very last press
        Until nothing is left
        It’s done
        Finally over
        I am dead
        I killed myself  
        I let it consume me until nothing was left
        It won
        I am dead
        I killed myself
        Until the very last press
        When nothing else was left
        Except for the final tear I shed
        Before I took the gun in my hand
        Weeping for myself  no one else left to care
        Family, friends they buried me a long time ago
        They wiped their hands clean of me
        While I still had breath
        They watched me slowly whither and dwindle consumed only by my hunger to feed this addiction
        I killed myself
        In the end I lost
        I lost more than just another gamble
        I lost more than just my life
        I lost my soul, lost who I was
        I lost me
        In that I lost them
        I lost them all……
        I killed myself
        Blood runs down my hands
        Anguish fills my heart
        I am dead

      • #9854

          I hope you don’t mind me bringing this poem to the top as a poignant reminder to all of the consequences of gambling.
          You know I was "on your side" from the beginning Izzi. I often wonder what happens to people who vanish from this Forum. I often ask myself "Is he/she gambling or (God forbid!) are they dead!?"
          I never read this poem before. I was just broswing and it jumped out at me.
          I think it’s brilliant!
          Maybe I am meant to read it at this time.
          I has certainly taken my breath away…..
          Thanks Izzi. I needed to be stopped in my tracks.

        • #9853

            Izzi, I think of you often and hope you are doing well. We miss you. Vera, there is life after all of this…one breath at a time!

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