My whole attitude to gambling has changed

[michelle64]

 My whole attitude to gambling has changed
 

I can remember my very first bet
It’s a memory that’s hard to forget
I can recall the buzz, time and place
A thrill other things couldn’t replace
 
Gambling then gave me a lot of fun
With beginner’s luck I actually won
I was a happy bunny when winning
But loses sent my head spinning
Within me there was a constant fight
Was gambling for me wrong or right?
Within me there was a love/hate romance
But with gambling I had to take my chance
 
 
Escaping to gamble was important for me
I really didn’t want to be gamble free
Life’s problems I didn’t want to face
I felt comfortable in the gambling place
 
When I was in my active gambling mode
My rational thinking I always put on hold
I didn’t stop to consider right or wrong
I acted on the cravings that were strong
 
For me the urges to gamble were intense
I’d do things so gambling could commence
I would lie, cheat, manipulate and steal
To finance the addiction I tried to conceal
 
 
I can honestly say I didn’t gamble to win
I gambled to escape and get a buzz within
I know I couldn’t press the button to collect
Having money to gamble for me was perfect
 
 
But the loses became more and more for me
I had to give up my compulsive gambling spree
I truly felt that gambling was no fun anymore
‘I am going to give up gambling’ – I often swore
 
I felt I couldnt live with gambling in my life at all
And without gambling I wouldn’t cope and I’d fall
I began to ask myself was giving up a right decision
With the loses and pain there was a clear vision
 
 
It was a process that I wanted to go through
For me giving up gambling was very easy to do
What was very hard for me was staying stopped
That was until the GA programe I began to adopt
 
 
I had tried to give up my terrible gambling my way
But only the ‘GA way’ helped me not to go and play
By connecting with other CGs at my local group
I am no longer walking in and out of gambling poop
 
 
Going to my meetings now gives me the same frill
That gambling did in my life before it began to kill
I now gain alot from every new and existing member
Listening to their shares helps me to remember
 
 
I try now to remember that the past is behind me
And reflecting too much on it is not meant to be
But it is good to share my experiences of gambling
Because each day my mixed up mind is unscrabbling
 
 
My whole attitude towards gambling has changed
Without gambling I no longer feel deranged
I know that I don’t need it in my life today
And with the help of GA it can be kept at bay
 
 
Michelle (2012)– 30/11/2012 16:28:48: post edited by harry.– 11/30/2012 6:01:14 PM: post edited by michelle64.

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