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The advice I didn’t want to hear
What was it that I really did fear?
Things that would help me address my addiction
Rather than listen to my gambling fiction
The things that actually could make me stop
Why didn’t they come straight to the top?
Telling the truth instead of the lies?
Maybe I should stick to my old alibis
Getting to meetings, at least one a week?
If I do that I might have to speak!
Tying up my money? Or getting banned?
That’s a lot harder than I really had planned
I can’t do that I can do it on my own J
But didn’t I say that before my last loan? L
So maybe there is something in way they say
Maybe there is a different way
We always hear the things that are easy
Things that take work just make us queasy
The reason I know now was always clear
There really was nothing that I had to fear
It was just my sneaky, lying addiction
Giving me more of that same old fiction
When we decide to really take action
There is no point in doing it by fraction.
The advice we don’t want to hear is often the best
It might be hard but this is no jest
Don’t listen to that addictions voice
Treat it like any other noise
Take those tough steps and you will find
Recovery and peace of mind
I did the things I didn’t want to hear
And now I have no tears, no fear
Not gambling is not really a sacrifice
In recovery life, well it really is nice!
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I travelled to that “other world”
By some strange magic source
Transported in a stupor,
Of sheer magnetic force.
I didn’t wait to question,
To ask whither, when or why,
Gave consent without attempting
The consequences to deny!I don’t remember going-
I blocked that journey out
By using every tactic
To suppress my rational doubt.
Although my mind was screaming
“Turn back ! You have a choice!”
But addiction leads to dreaming
So I just ignored that voice.I thought about my future
My promises and plans
To be frugal free and truthful
Living Life in God’s safe Hands!
It was clear before I started
What the outcome soon would be,
And I heard the Voice of Reason
“What will YOU do differently?”A gambler’s prayer for miracles,
For favours and for wins,
Soon transforms into mockery
Reflected in the “spins”
Seventy, eighty, ninety
Before we see Three Bars,
Maybe God is laughing now,
Scolding from the stars!Gambling is my First Love
When I fail to take control
And even though I have a choice
It takes my heart and soul,
But only when I give consent
To set this” monster”free
From the cage where he lies sleeping,
It is I who hold the key! -
I am glad that I can see your post. The rest you know better than I do.
See you soon Vera.
All the best -
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